We all want to be the perfect art teacher, right? Everyone’s favorite teacher. The one who has cool stories to tell, the one with all sorts of art knowledge, and the one who teaches every student everything they ever wanted to know about art. We want to connect with every student, invoke…
What? A drink? No, you can’t go get a drink. If I send you I’ll have to send everyone. Now please listen, it’s Ms. Art Teacher’s time to talk.
Where was I? Oh right, the perfect art teacher. We dream of being the teacher who instills curiosity in our students’ minds. Encourages them to experiment and explore and investigate. We want our students to…
Can you please sit still? What do you need? Do you think now is an appropriate time to use the bathroom? Probably not, huh? You can go when I ‘m finished talking.
Um, right, so, we want our students to be amazed with our demonstrations, enthralled by the knowledge we’re sharing with them, um… where was I headed with this again? Right, we want to show them all the sneaky “art tricks”, the cool “artists’ techniques”, the…
Where are you going? We’re not even using our pencils today, why do you need to sharpen it? Please return to your seat, put the pencil back in the pencil bin, and pay attention.
So, um… art tricks… techniques… right, provider of all art related knowledge. I, we, want to explain to students all the magical things that happen with clay when it’s fired, the neat chemistry behind glazes, how to slip and score, “pinch” and coil. We want them to be excited, to think that this is the BEST ART DAY EVER, every day. We want them to wake up every Thursday, or Day 3, or Monday, and think, ” I can’t wait to go to school because I have art today and I love art!” We want them… we want…
Yes, we’ll get started soon, but I actually have to talk to you and explain what it is we’re doing before you can start, so, please, for the third time, listen and pay attention or else you’re not going to know what to do.
Yes, so, we want to mold the minds of the artistically inclined, pique their interest in everything artistic and creative. Encourage their free thinking. Let them…
Can you please stop calling out Ms. Art Teacher’s name? Please? If you need my help, just raise your hand, and I’ll be there after I help the 23 other students who need my help because they don’t know what to do because they didn’t pay attention to the directions. Yes, other student tugging on my sweater, I know you know what to do because you paid attention, because you always pay attention. No, while I appreciate your eagerness to help, please just go back to doing your own work.
We want them to be excited, to think that this is the BEST ART DAY… wait, I already said that, didn’t I? Now I lost my train of thought. What I mean is, we want to be the smartest, rockin’est teacher ever. We want our students to leave our class feeling more alive and more informed than they did when they walked in. We want…
Oh, geez! Look at the time. It’s time to go. We’ll just have to finish this up next time, won’t we? No, no, that’s all for today, we’ll continue this next week. No, now is not the time to use the bathroom either. Just clean up your stuff and be on your way.
*Sigh*
Ms. Art Teacher could use a drink.
Art Teachers Hate Glitter 
You are funny. Where do you find the energy to be funny?
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we are living the same life sister of the palette knife! Rock On!!!
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Haha…this is my day, everyday, in a nutshell! This year I made up the “invisible game”. I told the kids if they didn't raise their hands and wait to be called on, or got up to come talk to me without permission…they were INVISIBLE. So I just straight up ignore them. Then they are like “Oh wait, I must be invisibe”, then they go back and raise their hand. The hardest part was training myself to not immediatley respond to them, and actually ignore them. Sometimes the other students remind me and say “Hey…So-and-so you're invisible, go sit down, raise your hand!” It's great.
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@ taramarie88- Love it! I think I'm going to try this from now on. I would just tell the students I couldn't hear them, but invisible is so much better!
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that made me laugh…goodness is it true. Every crazy bit of it! 🙂
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@ Krista- You would be amazed (and most likely envious) of all the energy I have. I work ten hour days and still come home and do laundry, wash the dishes, make dinner, vacuum, hang Christmas lights, pick up the clutter, load and unload the dishwasher, all in the span of an hour. It's okay. You can hate me.
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I love how you take my thoughts and put them out there. How do you do it? You don't even know me! Oh wait, I guess you do. It's that art teacher thing, we don't even have to really know each other. I find that your posts take my frustrations and calm them to turn into laughter. Thank you!!
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I am a music teacher, but, this is MY day also!! We artictic people are all in the same boat! Gotta love it!!
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I love your blog so much. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in the world… even though I am in my building!
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I love finding out I am not the only one that is saying these things. Can you imagine if you could hear all the voices of all the art teachers each school day? We'd probably be saying the same things at the same time! TGIF
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I think you have been to my school. This is exactly what happens to me during every class. So glad I am not the only one who feels this way.
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LOL..Yes I too have experience this!
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lol, such a big smile- I'm so there!
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I work at a Boys and Girls Club as the Art Director. It's pretty much this same scenario after school as well. Thank you for writing this and letting me know that I am not alone! 😀
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Not a teacher- but a parent of one of those little distraction allstars teachers need to deal with– Perhaps a multimedia lesson would grab their attention? Like, so liquids, some paper, some glass:
“Look kids- Look at all the gorgeous hues cascading down inside the glass, as we pour this Tequilla Sunrise. Now what paper umbrella would be on the opposite side of the color wheel? Any ideas?”
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Hahahahaha This is a great blog! I just started blogging and made it mostly for my classes. But I've always wanted to write a book about my experiences I think you should too! Thanks for putting into words how we all feel!
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That is so hilariously funny and SO TRUE. Your italicized words are the words I speak every day during art class!!! I had no idea being an art teacher would include so much MANAGEMENT (drinks or no drinks, bathroom breaks, how to get the teachers' attention, touching or not touching art supplies, etc. etc. etc.). Thanks for the laugh. If we weren't able to laugh we might go completely insane!
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awesome! this is the kind of teacher blog that has been missing from my feed.
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I love the “Where are you going? We're not even using our pencils today, why do you need to sharpen it? “
haha..
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YESSSS!!!!!!
“You talk all the time/too much/didn't tell us how to do that/didn't tell us to do it that way/tell us we had to do this at all. I didn't know that! I was just getting my pencil/glue/eraser/scissors – I wasn't wandering around! Whaddayamean line types? Do I have to do eight to ten? I only have 2, is that okay? Is this good enough? I Gotta PEE!!!! So do I!! This project is stupid/boring/dumb. My dad/mom/grandparent said I don't have to do art – I won't need it. I can't do this project because I never have had art before/can't draw/it's too hard. I don't have to listen to you – you're not my teacher. My mom said I was very artistic so I should get an 'A'. I'm in Challenge so I should get an 'A'. I'm usually in band/orchestra/challenge/speech/resource during art – why do I still have to do what they are doing/what are we doing?”
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So glad to know I am not alone:) I really feel like quiting my job, but I love teaching art! Only if we could tape mouths and glue butts to seats!
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Wow! How sad to hear this from an Art Teacher! I am the most popular teacher at school. I do look forward to working with the kids. Let go of the controlling attitude- does it really matter if they stand up when they work? If they are confused I have to say it is your fault and you should acknowledge it. You did not explain well enough. I rarely have this happen and when I do- I know it was my fault not theirs. These poor babies are told what to do all day long. Their creativity is smashed by standardized testing and the teaching that goes with it. They believe there is only one answer to the problem and they are scared to make the wrong choice. It's our job to let them know that they do have the answer. In art they get to make the decisions. Open ended projects are so much more fun for kids. Forget about the product and have fun with the process. We are the luckiest teachers- we get to play with the kids. I am a traveling art teacher- which means I visit over 1000 kids a week. It is a ton of work but they are worth it.
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I'm wondering if the last commenter read the same post we did… Or missed the point completely? Or am I missing something. I don't recall you saying anywhere in here that students are not allowed to stand up when working, or that they are confused. Nor did I get a “controlling” vibe. I believe that you were just making a point about how difficult it can be to get through directions and instructions with the little ones because of how many interruptions they come up with, right? And knowing you as I do, I would say that you are one of the least likely of art teachers to worry about teaching to the standards and not allow your students to have fun.
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