Dear Students, Funny, Ha-Ha, In the Art Room

[Knock, knock]

Oh hey, fifth graders. Why yes, please come in and interrupt the chaos that is 2nd grade art. It’s no big deal. It’s not like I’ve got anything going on in here, just trying to keep kids from painting each other and cooling the fires that erupt when ohmygod, he splashed water on my painting!!! So, what can I do for you? Glitter? You came here looking for glitter? Well, you may not know this, but I don’t normally carry the stuff, but you happen to be in luck because someone gifted me a box of miscellaneous craft supplies at the beginning of the school year, and there just so happens to be some glitter in there, so sure, you can have it. What’s it for? A class project? Neat, and when do you need it? Oh. You need it right now. Well then, no problem. Let me just turn my back on this group of angelic second graders so I can dig through my Closet of Crap and get that for you. Now where is it…? I know that box is in here somewhere. Funny story, I don’t usually use craft supplies in my room, but… oh! Here it is, under my stash of party supplies. Now I know there’s glitter in here somewhere… maybe under the package of straws… or behind the bag of Popsicle sticks… ooh! Here it is. No, wait, those are just mismatched googly eyes… how about… no, those are seed beads. Um… maybe… oh geez, how did these pompoms get loose? Here we go! Glitter! What? I’m sorry, you’re going to have to speak up. I can’t hear you over the sound of twenty-eight seven year old kids whooping and cheering as they splatter paint the walls and carpet. Excuse me? Oh, yeah, well no, I don’t think carpet in an art room make much sense either… what’s that? That’s not what you said? Ohhh. Yeah, no, now I see. You’re right, this isn’t glitter at all but sequins. Good catch. Well, can’t you just use them instead? Sequins are almost like glitter. No? Well, maybe you can try the Kindergarten classrooms then, they’re practically art rooms down there, and I’m sure they have glitter. Oh yeah, that’s fine, you can take the sequins with you just in case. Just one thing though, when you return them, can you make sure you do it during my adaptive art class? It would be great if you could pop in at the exact moment one of my students is trying to close his head in the flat file drawers, another is attempting to cut ALL THE PAPER, and a third is crying because she doesn’t want to do art today, m’kay?* Thanks, because that would be ever so convenient. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must be getting back to these second graders. I’m not sure, but I think I just saw a paint tray go out the window.

*I love my adaptive art students, and even on their worst days, I enjoy working with them. My second graders? Not so much.

Standard

3 thoughts on “[Knock, knock]

  1. Beth says:

    Sounds like my day yesterday. My 5th grade class was arriving, their teacher had let them in my room without me because I had taken the 2 second break between classes to use the restroom. She started yelling at them while two 4th grade students came up to me and asked for a box of newspapers. Well, I don’t have newspaper so I had to call their teacher to find out what their teacher really wanted. Mind you, while I am on the phone, the 5th grade teacher is still yelling and lets the words “smart-ass” escape her lips. I try not to laugh. Turns out that the 4th grade teacher needed a box of magazines. I can understand the confusion between the periodicals. The 5th grade teacher leaves, the 4th graders collect their box and I get down to business going over the painting steps needed that day.

    Like

  2. Kat says:

    Yes! All of the yes! As a side note, its our second grade that are the holy terrors of the school as well. I wonder if its something about that particular birth year? Any other art teachers that have crazy second graders this year? Of course they were the one kindergarten class that made me rethink my choice in careers back in the day..good thing I love them.

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