A Day In the Life

Can I See Your ID?

There is no doubt in my mind that my becoming a teacher directly correlates with the onset of my purchasing-alcohol-in-public anxiety. For reals. I have a severe (irrational?) fear of buying beer at the grocery store. I avoid it at all cost.

In college, professors give you all sorts of life advice. The advice that has had the longest lasting impression on lakeme was given by one of my education professors. “Buy your beer in the next town over,” he said. You know, lest you run into your students’ parents and they think of you as a good-for-nothing degenerate, a bad role model and someone who is incapable of educating their child. Let’s ignore the case of Mich Ultra in their cart though, because that’s different. They’re not teachers. And so I did. I took extreme measures to ensure that I never purchased a six-pack of the refreshingly thirst-quenching beverage that I was legally permitted to buy in any store that I felt my students’ parents would frequent. Evidently, all of my students must have teachers for parents because we are all shopping in the next town over.

I’m currently on vacation twelve hours and four states away from where I teach. And yet, despite this fact, as I was going on a beer run this morning going to buy coffee and razors this morning, I couldn’t help but sweat a little. I scanned the aisles for familiar faces, and when the checkout clerk asked, “can I see your ID?” I had a brief moment of panic in which I wanted to shout out, “I’m a teacher, dammit! How dare you think this beer is mine!” Alas, I held it together, purchased my six packs, and now I’m enjoying my Lake Placid Frostbite Ale* lakeside.

Stay tuned next week when I tell you about that time I did shots with some former students of mine. There’s nothing more frightening than hearing someone shout out your teacher name while you’re half in the bag and rocking out to some hippie jam band on a Saturday night in your bar**. Well, except when hearing your teacher name is quickly followed by, “shots!”

Cheers!

p.s. I hate to have anyone call me out for being “on vacation” after my last post in which I explained that teachers aren’t really taking a break during summer “vacation”. Don’t forget, I’m taking a couple of online courses this summer, so in between my microbrews, I’m also leaving useless, incomprehensible responses to my classmates’ discussion board posts. I’m good like that.

*I know they changed the name years ago, but it will always be a Frostbite to me.

**And then I found a new bar.

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12 thoughts on “Can I See Your ID?

  1. Polly says:

    I too am a teacher. My husband and I ride motorcycles. We go to the rallies together to relax and have a good time. I try to leave everything teacher behind me when we go, including my professional looking dress clothes. So here I am at Myrtle Beach, S.C with my husband in my do – rag, weekend make up (the look I would wear out at night but never to school), tight jeans, and a form fitting shirt stretched tight over a rather well endowed chest showing more cleavage than any of my parents should ever know I have when I hear “Long time no see Mrs. Xxxx!” I wanted to die until this parent said, “Please don’t tell anyone you saw me here and I will do the same.” A few years have passed since this encounter and neither of us have ever mentioned it. I guess whatever happens at the rally stayed at the rally.

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    • Polly, I am dying right now. How mortifying and hilarious. This is kind of related… one of our sixth grade teachers ended up on the same cruise as a sixth grade student and his parents this past spring break. Could you imagine? Kind of puts a damper on your fun.

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  2. Haha! I don’t think it’s a secret that teachers drink…a lot 😉 I used to tell my high school kids, after a particularly difficult math topic, that they were going to drive me to drink (because everyone should have a list of DD to call) or I was going to have a party when the test scores came back (which was a perfect 1 to 1 ratio with a 100% chance of me drinking – even more math!) I have gone to a brewery with former students and seen several out at bars…I mean at the library 😉

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    • No, probably not, especially if you’re a high school teacher. My first year of teaching, I taught high school students, but I will absolutely die the day I end up drinking with former elementary students. Funny story, I’ve partied with a few of my former high school teachers. They were much cooler in real life than they ever were in a classroom.

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  3. erin says:

    That also goes for purchasing bras. Found that out the hard way….hi Ms. G!
    Ohey there mom and 3 boys (as I hold handful of bras behind my back)

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  4. Teacher here. One day I was at Aldi’s buying ten. Bottles. Of. Wine (for a party recipe). And some strawberries. Ran into the guidance counselor from my school and couldn’t hide all the clanking. Neat. Real neat.

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  5. carrie says:

    I so laugh at all of these comments, my teacher friends and I go to happy hour regularly and frequently run into parents that are asking to join us, commenting that it is probably their child that is causing us to drink–in fact offer to buy us a drink out of feeling guilty that we have to deal with their child more than they do. My ex-husband and I even owned a restaurant in town and frequently parents came in an hang out to drink on Friday and Saturday nights, guess I am a bit out of the norm that we hung out and drank with parents all the time.

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  6. Pingback: Happy New Year: A 2014 Summary | Art Teachers Hate Glitter

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