I feel silly even saying this, but let me preemptively say, if you can’t find the humor in this post, the sheer ridiculousness of it, then please don’t comment on it. Yes, these are actual instances in which parents contacted me, or administration, about something that went down in my art room. No, I am not a bad, evil, horrible, child-hating person. I am not a bad teacher.
What are some ridiculous reasons you’ve received emails or phone calls from parents?
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Art Teachers Hate Glitter 
A parent decided to withdraw their child from my (middle school) art class, because their child’s grade was only a “B” and the parent didn’t want to mess up their kid’s grade point average for something as “unimportant” as art.
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Well, duh. Heaven forbid that student actually try harder to legit earn an ‘A’. Silly art teacher.
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After I contacted a parent (via telephone) about their child’s misbehavior in art class, the parent came directly to the school, bypassing the front office, walked into my classroom unannounced, and slapped their child across the face, IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS. The other students and I were pretty shocked and some of them began to “call out” in alarm. The parent then responded by telling me “You need to get control your students.”
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Holy sh*t.
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I let a kid go to the bathroom and the parents were up at the school at the end of the day. Their son had pooped in his pants and it was my fault. I guess they weren’t taking into account the fact that he had 2 snickers, an oatmeal cream pie, and a coke for lunch (he packed his own lunch).
Now that I teach high school, it has gotten really interesting. Just this year I’ve had to tell students to stop eating the glue and no, we don’t eat paint.
I was also out for 3 days with pnuemonia. One of my portfolio students accepted $5 to superglue his scrotum to a chair. The sub volunteered to video it for YouTube. Somehow that was my fault.
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But, but, you let the kid use the bathroom, and he still pooped in his pants? Wait a minute, high schoolers are eating paint and glue. Where do you work!? Did the video make it to YouTube? And more importantly, does the sub still sub at your school?
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I had a parent call my principal because I read the students the book on Van Gogh from the Getting to Know the World’s Greatest Artists series. In the end of the book, it says that Van Gogh shot himself and the parent thought it was wrong of me to share that information with the class.
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Meanwhile, on the morning news that her child listens to while eating a bowl of cereal…
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I had a mom come in for a conference she specially scheduled in the first couple of weeks of school to let me know that if her (very capable) child needed to poop during art class, could I please make sure to take the time to wipe for him?
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No. Way.
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Why was I not contacted that my child was getting a poor grade in your class? ( the kid got an A-) I’m assuming this is from parents who assume all children get 100 percent in art class because we just color. Uggggg. I have 500 kids, no I won’t be contacting you about an A-. Hope they can still get into college with that black mark on their 6th grade report card!!!
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I asked my 12 year old kids ones to get a photo of themselves for s project. I got hate mail from a mum asking me how was she supposed to have a printed picture of her son around the house….. That I as asking too much… Too much work for an “inferior” subject……. Needless to say I was shocked……………
That was telling me she didn’t own one single photo of her poor son…. Hehe
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So sad.
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How can she have a C? It’s Art… and then there was the parent who said she wasn’t going to let an elective bring down her son’s GPA. He had a B, but, you know, it was a low B…seriously, the only parents who have ever complained about grades have been other teachers. I just don’t get it.
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A parent refused to set next to me during her daughter’s parent teacher conference …and when the teacher introduced me to her she rolled her eyes and said…I KNOW WHO HE IS….HE IS WHY MY SON HATES ART TO THIS DAY…BECAUSE HE GAVE HIM A “B” (her son is in middle school now…and was lazy when I had him). I snapped back, and said…”if your son hates art…that is on him…and someone needs to help him have better coping skills if he hates art because he got an above average grade 4 yrs ago!!” She rolled her eyes again and did not speak to me again. I will not let a parent or child place their issues on me! Own your stuff people!
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A mother brought her son in to see the principal and get me fired because I had put braces on her son’s teeth and he did not need them! the principal could barely contain his laughter when he called me in to explain my actions. the brilliant child had wrapped paper clips around his teeth and could not get them off when they started hurting his gums and the more he struggled with them, the more they poked. he decided to blame the art teacher (me) because everyone knows that art teachers are always kind of weird!
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And the parent believed him. Wow!
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Whaat!? Crazy! Who in their right mind would believe an art teacher would put braces on their child?
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Yep! My favorite has always been “My child isn’t going to be a professional artist, so he doesn’t need your class. But the F you gave him since he hasn’t done the assignments is preventing him/her from being an honor graduate/getting scholarships/ playing sports/ passing school so you should go on ahead and change that to an A.”
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