Behind the Name Art Teachers Hate Glitter athglitter.com
Behind the Scenes, Funny, Ha-Ha

Behind the Name: Art Teachers Hate Glitter

A parody of a parody of a real actual show.


Announcer: There’s an old saying in the art room,* and it goes like this: “Glitter is the herpes of the art room.” Tonight, we’ll explore this phenomenon, as we travel beyond the laughter, into the darkness, and behind the name of… Art Teachers Hate Glitter.

Glitter. Every day thousands of young kids fall victim to its sparkle, its allure, its shimmer. But, do art teachers really hate glitter?

Ms. AHTG: Listen, it’s not like I hate the stuff, you know, but, that shit gets everywhere. Even when you try to contain it, there’s no containing it. I mean, once you take it out of the locked cabinet and put it in the hands of a child, you’re done for. You might as well just accept that you’re going to be picking sparkles off of everything you own, everything your friends own, for the next six months. At least.

Narrator: And Ms. ATHG was right. Continue reading

Standard
Small scraps and weekend links athglitter.com
Small Scraps

Small Scraps & Weekend Links

Kids Say the Darndest Things

A 6th grade student walks up to me, “I’m really good at guessing people’s weight.”

“Okay,” I reply.

She stares at me for a moment, then says, “I am. I’m really good at it.”

“Okay, go for it,” I say.

“What?”

“Go for it. Do me,” I challenge.

A little taken aback, she pauses for a moment, “Oh, okay, um…” She studies me, thoughtfully, then loudly she guesses, “145!”

“Humpf,” I scoff, “Nope!’

“Well,” she stammers, “I’m better at guessing kids’ weight, not adults.”

“Ohhh…” I say, “I see. Well, you were about 20 lbs off.”

“Like I said,” she explains, “I’m better with kids. I never would have guessed you weighed 165.”

Small Scraps & Weekend Links athglitter.com

This Week on Instagram

My photo-a-day challenge on Instagram has started with a bang. I am loving the photos from all of the participants. I’m thinking of doing some sort of Best of post or something. It’s not too late to join!

This Weeks Highs & Lows

  • We had an unexpected day off on Tuesday for the Primaries. Happy to have the day off, devastated by the results of Super Tuesday. Get it together, America! This is the future of our country, not the latest reality show.
  • Kind of off topic, but I picked up Kindergarten registration papers for my daughter. Nooooooo! It seems like only yesterday I was trying to figure out how to pump in between cleaning brushes and loading the kiln. *Sigh*
  • Snow days, delayed starts, early releases, assemblies and field trips have messed with my previously perfectly timed calendar. Which is why I found myself bouncing from painting to clay to oil pastels, back to clay, and then back to painting. It made for an exhausting day.
  • It’s bobblehead time! (again) The students are so excited to make these. My Kinders and first graders are already asking me if they’ll get to make them when they’re in second grade.

 

Weekend Links

Hope you have a great weekend! Don’t forget to follow Art Teachers Hate Glitter on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest for more behind the scenes photos, anecdotes and lesson ideas.

Standard
Art Teachers Hate Glitter #tbt From the Archives athglitter.com
A Day In the Life

#tbt: Super Art Teacher

This post previously appeared on Art Teachers Hate Glitter on December 10, 2010.


We all want to be the perfect art teacher, right? Everyone’s favorite teacher. The one who has cool stories to tell, the one with all sorts of art knowledge, and the one who teaches every student everything they ever wanted to know about art. We want to connect with every student, invoke…

What? A drink? No, you can’t go get a drink. If I send you I’ll have to send everyone. Now please listen, it’s Ms. Art Teacher’s time to talk.

Where was I? Oh right, the perfect art teacher. We dream of being the teacher who instills curiosity in our students’ minds. Encourages them to experiment and explore and investigate. We want our students to…

Can you please sit still? What do you need? Do you think now is an appropriate time to use the bathroom? Probably not, huh? You can go when I ‘m finished talking.

Um, right, so, we want our students to be amazed with our demonstrations, enthralled by the knowledge we’re sharing with them, um… where was I headed with this again? Right, we want to show them all the sneaky “art tricks”, the cool “artists’ techniques”, the…

Where are you going? We’re not even using our pencils today, why do you need to sharpen it? Please return to your seat, put the pencil back in the pencil bin, and pay attention.

So, um… art tricks… techniques… right, provider of all art related knowledge. I, we, want to explain to students all the magical things that happen with clay when it’s fired, the neat chemistry behind glazes, how to slip and score, “pinch” and coil. We want them to be excited, to think that this is the BEST ART DAY EVER, every day. We want them to wake up every Thursday, or Day 3, or Monday, and think, ” I can’t wait to go to school because I have art today and I love art!” We want them… we want…

Yes, we’ll get started soon, but I actually have to talk to you and explain what it is we’re doing before you can start, so, please, for the third time, listen and pay attention or else you’re not going to know what to do.

Yes, so, we want to mold the minds of the artistically inclined, pique their interest in everything artistic and creative. Encourage their free thinking. Let them…

Can you please stop calling out Ms. Art Teacher’s name? Please? If you need my help, just raise your hand, and I’ll be there after I help the 23 other students who need my help because they don’t know what to do because they didn’t pay attention to the directions. Yes, other student tugging on my sweater, I know you know what to do because you paid attention, because you always pay attention. No, while I appreciate your eagerness to help, please just go back to doing your own work.

We want them to be excited, to think that this is the BEST ART DAY… wait, I already said that, didn’t I? Now I lost my train of thought. What I mean is, we want to be the smartest, rockin’est teacher ever. We want our students to leave our class feeling more alive and more informed than they did when they walked in. We want…

Oh, geez! Look at the time. It’s time to go. We’ll just have to finish this up next time, won’t we? No, no, that’s all for today, we’ll continue this next week. No, now is not the time to use the bathroom either.  Just clean up your stuff and be on your way.

*Sigh*

Ms. Art Teacher could use a drink.


For more student funnies, check out more of Things Students Say. Or check out more #tbt posts.

Standard
In the Art Room

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make

Raise your hand if you maybe consider yourself a seasoned art teacher, but you still, maybe, make mistakes of a first year teacher. Me! Me! Me! There are still times, after almost ten years in the classroom, when I find myself shaking my head, thinking, “Why? Why? When will I learn?” I’m sure I’m not alone, right? Right…?

8 Rooie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.com

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.com8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comFor the life of me, I cannot figure out how my wardrobe has evolved into a collection of mostly black, white and grey clothing. I can only imagine it is because bright pops of color look much more vivid and striking against these neutrals. Unfortunately, art materials look striking against these colors as well. Paint, oil pastels, clay dust, burlap threads, marker, yarn fuzz… Until I can afford to replace my entire ensemble with busy, concealing, patterned clothing, I will continue walking around school with clay hand prints (my own) on my ass.

One of these days, I’m going to get my Art Teachers Hate Overalls Tumblr up and running again. It’s on my to-do list, because evidently I don’t already have enough on my plate.

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comThis is probably rookie mistake 8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comnumero uno, and yet, after 10 years in a classroom, I still forget that I need to model, model, model. Don’t get me wrong, I’m great at modeling a lesson, but when it comes to getting supplies out, or putting artwork away, or washing brushes, I fall short. I’m working on it though, because it means less work for me in the long run.

I’ve been streamlining my supply distribution and my new paint station this year, and it really helps. I have very little storage or flat surfaces in my current room, but I had a wall full of coat hooks. I dug out a whole stack of grocery store reusable beverage bags (ahem) and purchased (affiliate) these condiment bottles with some PTA money, and voila! A very functional paint station that the students know how to use! Because I modeled it for them. Many times.

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.com8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comAt the beginning of the school year, I review classroom routines every single art class. This lasts for about the first quarter. Then I get lazy and assume students remember how to clean-up or line-up or move around the classroom. And then things fall apart. One of my evaluation goals this year is to really reinforce procedures and routines in my room. It helps. Things go so much more smoothly when we review.

A couple of summers ago, I took the Managing the Art Room course from AOE. It really helped me brush up my management skills, and introduced me to Clean-Up Maps and visuals for routines. So helpful!

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comSo. Many. Keys. I have six 8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comdifferent keys on my ring this year. Different meaning they all open different doors, not that they all look different. I have no idea which key opens which door. I’m the fool that stands there, out in the cold, trying four different keys in the modular door before I find the right one. You would think that I would have found a way to label them by now, but nope. Still struggling.

I think I’m finally going to break down and buy some of those key cap things. Something like (affiliate) these or these, but these are super cute too.

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.com8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comThere are only so many ways one can get around not calling a student by their first name. And I’ve used them all. Part of this has to do with my fear of mispronouncing their names. Yes, kids, even adults experience panic at the thought of public humiliation. Sure, I have no qualms about busting out my sick air guitar skills in the middle of third grade art, but, holy Hannah, don’t let me mispronounce “Mrudula” wrong. Again.

The other reason I don’t know anyone’s name is because I legit suck at remembering faces and names. Seriously, if you were to tell me that there was a real condition that made it gosh darn difficult to connect faces with names, I would jump up and down, hands in the air, declaring, “That’s me! That’s me!”

I know, there are many tricks out their for learning names, but the best solution I’ve come up with is taking attendance. Every day. Not only do I take attendance, I make sure to say each name out loud as I’m looking at the student. Confession: this is one of those things I’m really good at for one or two quarters, and then I start getting lazy, neglect to connect names with faces, or stop taking attendance altogether, and then I legit forget students’ names.

I actually use an app, TeacherKit, that allows me to take attendance and make seating charts WITH student pictures (with permission, of course). It has a lot of other cool features, but I mostly use it for attendance, seating charts and behavior.

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comWhy do I keep doing this!? 8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comI suppose I just expect that our paper towel dispenser will be well stocked. I should know better. One of these days I’m going to do what all of you smart people do, and request extra rolls for my room. It’s on my to-do list.

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.com8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.comIf you send one, you gotta send them all. Amiright?  I should really stop letting students use the bathroom during art class. It is SO disruptive, and as soon as one hears someone has to go, they all have to go. I’m very nervous about not letting students use the bathroom though, especially after this incident, about 12 years ago!

So, I came up with a new bathroom rule this year, no bathroom passes during the first ten minutes, or the last ten minutes, of art (and definitely not during demonstration time). It’s working. I find most students need to use the bathroom during instruction time or clean-up time. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Students rarely ask to use the bathroom while they are actually engaged and working, and if they do, I can usually tell it’s a legit emergency.

It should be noted, these passes don’t actually travel to the bathroom with students, they’re placed at students’ empty seats. We have a rule that kids go to the bathroom in boy/girl pairs, but I think I might get (affiliate) these for next year, because I do break therule from time to time.

8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make athglitter.com“Any questions? Yes, Johnny.” 8 Rookie Mistakes I Still Make“This one time, I think it was last week, or maybe yesterday, my cat threw up in our kitchen, and then started licking it, and…” Hands start shooting up around the room. Johnny got to tell a story! I need to tell a story! Nooooooooo….

I fall for this one every time. Every time. Especially with the younger kids. I see my students once a week, and they genuinely get excited to share their lives with me, and I want them to, it’s just, we don’t have time. If you let one, you gotta let them all. Amiright? I try to get the students to save their stories for work time. Most of the time, they forget about them, but not always. I do love hearing their stories.

What are some rookie mistakes you still find yourself making? Let me know in the comments!


Be sure to follow Art Teachers Hate Glitter on Facebook.

Standard