Art Teachers Hate Glitter #tbt From the Archives athglitter.com

#tbt: “What’s a rubber?”

This post previously appeared on Art Teachers Hate Glitter on May 4, 2012.

“What’s a rubber?” the innocent (or so I thought) first grade girl inquired.

“What?” I asked back, while my inner panic alarms began to sound.

“A rubber. What’s a rubber? Aaron* wants one.”

My keen teacher hearing is now on full alert as I scan the art room, trying to locate Aaron. Ah, there he is…

Aaron is repeatedly questioning his classmates,“Does anyone have a rubber? I need a rubber.”

I relax, look back at the girl, and reply, “it’s an eraser. He’s looking for an eraser. That’s what they call them in Australia.”

“Oh!”

I can see it now. This poor little girl is going to be sitting at her dinner table, and her parents are going to ask what she learned in school today. Of course, she’s excitedly going to tell them that she learned about rubbers in art class. I swear, these first graders will be the death of me this year.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent Australian kid who doesn’t know any better.

For more student funnies, check out more of Things Students Say. Or check out more #tbt posts.

Small Scraps

Small Scraps: Things Students Say

With my K-2 classes, I begin the new school year with an introduction/review of how to draw people using basic shapes. I was demonstrating for one of my second grade classes, prompting them to give me body parts to add and the shapes I could use, when we got to the point where all I had left were the arms. “What’s missing?” I asked the class. Hands shot up around the room, but this one eager boy jumped from his seat, and shouted, “shoulder pads!” Continue reading →

A Day In the Life

Dem First Graders. Geesh.

“Okay, so today we’re…”

“Did you straighten your hair?”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, I think she did.”

“It looks straighter.”

“I…”

“No, it looks wavy. Did you make it wavier?”

“It is wavy. She didn’t straighten it.”

“Guys, I…”

“No, she straightened it.”

“Uh, I…”

“It’s definitely different. In a good way.”

“Did you do something to your hair?”

“Yeah, it looks different.”

“Uh… no… well… I parted it differently…”

Damn first graders, they notice everything. Although, I kid you not, I had the exact same conversation with a class of third graders the following week. I didn’t straighten my hair, or make it wavier, I really only parted it about an inch further to the left. Guess that made all the difference.

In the Art Room

Things Were Going So Well, Until…

It was clay day, and we had just finished making leaf dishes. The classroom was cleaned up, and the students were quiet. There were fifteen minutes left in class. After schooling the first graders on the workings of the kiln and the different states of water, having really grabbed their attention when I mentioned that steam can cause their dishes to EXPLODE!, there were eight minutes left in class. I pulled out my trusty time-killer, the book Dogs Rule! by Daniel Kirk. The students were settled on the carpet, criss-crossed applesauce, their eyes eager with anticipation, will I be the one she calls on to pick a dog story?

We read three dog stories. After reading the final story, one that entertained us with a dog’s perspective on riding in cars, I asked, “I bet dogs have a really good life, don’t you think?”

“Yeaaaahhh…” they sedately answered, still entranced from the rhythmic readings.

“But you know what, I imagine cats have a better life. Could you imagine being a cat, just sleeping all day and eating?”

“Yeaaaahhh…” they replied again.

I dreamily continued, “You could lie in bed all day, have someone else feed you, and not have to go to school…”

Suddenly, the mood in the room shifted. In an accusatory tone they asked, “You don’t like school?”

“Oh no,” I protested, “I love school, but sometimes it would be nice to take a cat day.”

“Why?” They demanded, their eyes squinting with suspicion.

Fearing that my next words would deeply affect the way they viewed me, art class, and the state of the world, I stumbled with my response, “Well, um, because, you know, sometimes I get tired, and I could, um, just use a break…” They stared at me, unblinking, waiting to learn why a teacher, a teacher, wouldn’t want to be in school.

“Why don’t you just get a sub so you can stay home?” a girl up front asked.

“Oh, well… because… wow, look at that, it’s time to line up.” I hurriedly herded the students into line, thankful to end the conversation, but still surprised that first graders can be so shocked by the mere suggestion of skipping school and spending the day in bed. Just wait until you’re my age, I thought to myself, then you’ll wish we could take cat days.

Dear Students

"What’s a rubber?"