Gripes

5 Annoying Things Parents Say and Do At Art Shows

We had our pyramid art show last week. One of two I’m participating in this year. Maybe. If I get my act together for the second one. For those of you who are unfamiliar with “pyramids,” as I was up until about 5 years ago, here’s how it works. I work for a county wide school system. Within the county, we have regions. Within the regions, we have pyramids. Each pyramid consists of a high school, a couple of middle schools, and a handful of elementary schools. In our county, we have annual pyramid art shows (not individual school art shows as I was familiar with in the past). The shows are usually held at the pyramid’s high school. Get it?

But none of that is really relevant to this post, except that it will help you to understand the context of the content below. Regardless of the details of the art show, all art shows have one thing in common. Parents.

5 Annoying Things Parents Say and Do At Art Shows

 

1. “My daughter has had a piece of work in this show for the past three years. I don’t know why you didn’t choose her this year.”

Yes, but, your son has work on display, which is why you’re here, right? So…

2. “Do you work here?”

Hmmm… I’m sorry, what? As in, do I work here at this school, or do I work here at the show, which doesn’t really make sense, because none of us are really working right now, I mean, we’re not actually getting paid for this… Are you wondering if I’m a teacher, or a volunteer, or maybe you think I’m a high school student (yes, even at my advanced age, it still happens)? Did you not see my special art teacher t-shirt, or my school employee badge? What exactly is it that you want to know? Ohhhh! You need help. Well, sure, I’d be happy to help you. First off, “Do you work here?” is not a very polite way to approach someone. Why don’t you try this thing called common courtesy and start with an, “Excuse me,” because, believe it or not, I was actually engaged in a conversation with my colleague here. Next, try a “Can you help me?” That way, I know whether you’re looking for directions to the bathroom or you’re going to complain about the ridiculous way the show is set up before I admit to “working” here. Or not, depending on where you’re headed with this. What? You didn’t find that helpful? Oh, fine, the bathroom is around the corner on your left.

3. “But how come she has a 3 in art?”

Thank you for coming out tonight. You must be so proud to see your daughter’s work in the show. She worked really hard on this particular piece, and I wanted to acknowledge her effort here tonight. If you have any questions about her grade, you can email me or set up an appointment to meet with me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this man needs help finding the cafeteria.

4. “I’m not surprised you picked my child’s work for the show. You should see the stuff he makes at home. Everyone in our family thinks his spin art is great”

I’m sure they do.

5. “I can just move this over here, right?”

Of course you can! I’m so sorry we placed that other artwork so close to your child’s artwork. Please feel free to move it out of the way so you can get the perfect picture. I would hate to have some other child’s work clutter up your photo. Would you like me to adjust the lighting for you too?

What annoying things do parents say or do at your art shows?
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A Day In the Life

Nightmare in the Kiln

There’s a reason we all experience a little bit of fear every time we open a kiln of freshly fired bisqueware.

And this is that reason:

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Yeah, that’s a kiln full of 2nd grade animal bobble-heads.

I wasn’t present when the kiln was opened, but this picture was sent to me.

Devastating, to say the least.

Although I felt I had given them adequate time to dry out, it’s clear that I did not.

Amazingly enough, 10 out of 26 of the bobble-heads survived. My favorite is that little beaver up front, completely intact, innocently gnawing on his stick, oblivious to the carnage that lies behind him.

Even more amazing, every single head survived. Every. Single. One.

Like I tell my students, every time we work with clay, you never know. You just never know.

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In the Art Room

“I don’t have time to make art.”

Bullshit.

Okay, let’s back up for a minute. Last November I made some confessions, one of which was, “I haven’t made art for myself since college.” Then I went on to whine and complain about how I don’t have any time and blah, blah, blah, wah, wah, wah. I received some support, but one individual’s comment really struck me:

NO excuses!!! You have to make time to make art, or you’re no longer an artist. I have been teaching elementary art for 24 years and I have always made art!…

After reading that, I was all, “F* you, Bob. You don’t know me. Who are you to say that to me?” Slow down. Without going into the debate of whether or not art teachers need to be artists, let’s focus on the other part of his comment, the time part. Here I am thinking, “I don’t have time for art anymore,” but the reality is, I do. I just need to change my idea of what art is (and dear god, please don’t anyone try to define what art is or what real art, or good art is to me in the comments. I heard enough of that elitist nonsense in grad school).

The thing is, I’ve always thought of art as something grand and meaningful. Something you would be proud to display on your wall, or a relative’s wall, or even, a stranger’s wall. This idea of art, most assuredly an idea implanted during my college days, has held me back. I don’t have time to paint a large scale oil painting, or the supplies for real printmaking (think metal plates and acid baths), or the space to set up my wheel and kiln, therefore, I do not have time to make art. I am no longer an artist.

Like many of us, creativity has always been a necessary outlet in my life. If I’m not able to create, in some manner or another, then I tend to lose my shit. True story. Creating centers me, calms me, and balances me. Creating is my therapy, as it is for many of us. Lately, I’ve been feeling frustrated because I “just don’t have the time to create.” My anxiety increases, my stress levels skyrocket, and my emotions bounce all over the place. It’s not pretty. Then, somewhere (I wish I could remember where), I stumbled upon a book, Art Before Breakfast: A Zillion Ways to Be Creative No Matter How Busy You Are by Danny Gregory. I literally received it yesterday (although it feels like I ordered it months ago). Not 15 pages into it, I had an epiphany. You see, I have had time for art. I have been creating art. It’s just, I haven’t been creating “Art,” with a capital ‘A’. In his book, or more specifically, on pages 14-15, Danny G. examines the idea of Art vs. art. In short, “Art” is for the pretentious, and “art” is the stuff we should be doing everyday, the doodles, the sketches, the cartoons.

Long story short (“Too late!”*), Danny G. presents a challenge to commit to doing something creative every day, for 30 days. It can be something as simple as drawing your breakfast. Well, Danny G., challenge accepted.

So here’s the deal. I’m on instagram now. You can find me by clicking on that little icon under my profile picture at the top of this page, or just follow this link: athglitter. I’m going to be posting pictures of my 30 day challenge, and if you want to join me, please do. Make sure you tag me in your post, @athglitter, and include the hashtags #artbeforebreakfast and #athglitter. Let’s encourage each other to  create!

Are you in?


* I’m a HUGE Clue fan. I’ve seen it a gazillion times. Well, at least half a gazillion, and it’s probably the only movie that I actually know any quotes from. That and maybe Spaceballs (“They’ve gone plaid!”). Anyway, if you know the movie, you get this reference. If you don’t, then go watch it, and then you’ll get it.

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A Day In the Life, Gripes

It’s All Fun and Games, Until Someone Pulls the Love Card

Twice a year, I bust out a popular boxed drawing game to play with my students. The last week of school happens to be one of the times I bring this game out. The students love it, I get a kick out of it, and good fun is had by all. Until this week. If you follow Art Teachers Hate Glitter on Facebook, then you’ve already heard part of the story. Here’s what I posted earlier this evening:

For Your Consideration: It’s the last day of art and you’re playing a Pictionary-esque game with your AP 3rd grade class. You pull a subject card that reads, “Gym teachers in love.” Do you,

a) think it’s silly and let your students draw it because it’s all in good fun and they’ll get a kick out of it, or

b) think it’s inappropriate and controversial and banish it to the back of the box?

The responses were essentially divided into two camps, what’s-the-big-deal, and why-poke-the-bear, which is exactly what I expected. As you can probably expect, there’s more to the story than the small little blurb I posted to Facebook.

I play a modified version of the Pictionary-style game, (affiliate) Luck of the Draw, with my 3rd-6th graders. The students are given a subject, which I read from a card I’ve pulled out of the “subject” box (pre-selected for comprehension and maximum humor). They then have a minute to draw the subject. After the minute, the drawings are shared with their table anonymously (or as anonymously as elementary students can be). The students then vote for the drawing that they feel best fits a selected category card. It’s silly, it’s fun, and students of all artistic abilities have a chance of getting their drawings selected as a “winner”. For the last round of the game, I like to select a really fun subject that will get the students roaring with laughter. Sometimes it’s “hamsters juggling,” sometimes it’s “a moose in the house,” and sometimes, it’s “gym teachers in love.”

Until this week, it never occurred to me that “gym teachers in love” was an inappropriate or controversial subject to give students to draw. The response to this subject has always been giggles, mixed with some “ews” and drawings that show two adults with hearts over their heads. Well, for the first time ever, a student took this somewhere it shouldn’t have gone. Somewhere I never expected a third grader to take it, and in surprisingly shocking detail. It was a big deal. Administration and counselors got involved. It was ugly.

I later approached the AP who handled this situation to find out how things had ended. The whole thing had been very emotional, I was actually very upset by the ordeal, and I wanted to make sure that the student was okay. Little did I know, but I was about to be thrown under the bus.

It was suggested that I was to blame for why the drawing was made, which, okay, had I not chosen that subject, the picture never would have happened. Fair enough, but in my mind, there was a bigger issue at hand.

Why is a third grader drawing such detailed images that are not developmentally appropriate for his age?

It quickly became evident that I was the only one who felt that this was the most pressing concern. It was suggested that the subject I asked the students to draw was inappropriate because of everything kids see on TV nowadays. Apparently “love,” something that we teach our children about since the day they are born, something that is interwoven into many human relationships, is a rated R topic. You know, because that’s what kids see on TV, that ever present instigator and fall-guy for every bad thing anyone anywhere has ever done*.

It was implied that the subject was controversial because gym teachers are often accused of doing bad things. Hold the phone. So, if the subject had been “science teachers in love,” or “music teachers in love,” that would have been okay? So, because the subject was specifically about gym teachers, in love, that automatically pushes it into unsafe territory? Why, because gym teachers are evil and dangerous? What, are gym teachers not allowed to be in love? What if it had just been “gym teachers”? Or “in love”? What if I had asked students to draw “love”? Would that be wrong too?

Since when has “love” become an inappropriate and controversial thing to talk about and ask our students to consider in their art work? I ask students to draw family portraits. Is this inappropriate because bad things often happen in families? I ask students to draw pictures of themselves with a friend. We discuss relationships and body language and how you can tell that two people are friends just by looking at them. Kids draw themselves with their arms around their friends. They draw themselves holding hands. Is this inappropriate?

I’m still confused by the backlash that occurred because of this one drawing that this one student drew. I’m shocked that anyone would suggest that I’m asking my students to do inappropriate things. I’m amazed that the focus has been turned around on me and taken away from the student who could really use some attention and help.

I think I just got my first real taste of the anti-teacher vibe that exists now. If this is truly the state of education, that teachers are blamed for the actions of their students, then I don’t know if I want to be a part of that anymore.

What are your thoughts?

*It’s interesting to note that while I wrote this, the TV was on and a commercial came on about Love. The commercial showed many different demonstrations of people showing love for each other, and it was all rated G. Or maybe hugging and kissing children and grandparents is PG? R? I just don’t know anymore.

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