A Day In the Life

Back to School. aka The One with All the Memes.

Woo-hoo!

I know some of you have already returned to school. With students and everything. I’ve seen your nicely organized, pretty classrooms on Instagram. Hooray for you, but today marks the first day of the new school year for me. Sort of. Students don’t start until next week, but for teachers, the fun starts today, and you know what that means…

64ebbd852e073c1f835325250a6f1c79Ohhhh yeah… the pointless meetings. My school likes to start off right away, 8:15AM, Monday morning, with a breakfast meeting. Providing breakfast means it’s going to be fun, and chill, and relaxed, right? Or not. Continue reading

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Dear Students

6 Ways You Can Tell Your Art Teacher Has “Checked Out” for the Year

1. She shows up “late”. Art teachers get to school early. Insanely early. Like, an hour before contract time starts. What’s contract time? Um, think of it as the time you’re just getting out of bed. Yeah, I know, that’s early. When you’re sitting down to breakfast, your art teacher is on her third cup of bad staff room coffee and has already loaded the kiln, emptied the drying rack and prepped your supplies for the day. If you see an art teacher strolling in 20-30 minutes before contract time she’s “late” and has probably already checked out for the year. Whether it’s because she stayed up extra late the night before*, stopped for coffee on the way to school, or slept through her alarm, your art teacher is late. On second thought, this isn’t something you kids will ever notice, but trust me, it happens.

2. She dresses up. Art teachers rarely get the chance to dress up. No, that’s not a sub,** that woman in the art room wearing a black dress and sandals is actually your art teacher. If you are greeted by a well dressed art teacher, you can pretty much guarantee she has checked out. That’s right, you won’t be working with any real art supplies today. Color sheets for the win! On the other hand, if you happen to have one of those art teachers who regularly dresses professionally (it happens), then you can guarantee she’s checked out when she shows up to school, on a Thursday, wearing jeans and one of those free school shirts she shunned all year long.

3. You’re watching a movie during art class. Most teachers want to show movies at the end of the year, because, hello?, checked out, however, many schools don’t allow this. Art teachers are rebels. Art teachers will throw caution to the wind and show you a movie on your last day of art. Listen; if administration insists upon having specials up until the last minute of the last day of school, then you’re watching a movie. How else is your art teacher supposed to get the mandatory end of the year cleaning and packing done? Come in on her own time? Actually, she probably will, but you’re still watching a movie, dammit, so just sit down and enjoy it.***

4. You’re playing an art review game. Here’s a little secret. Review games aren’t a treat for you; they’re a necessary break from cutting paper and washing paint brushes that your art teacher desperately needs. And yes, it’s educational, and you review things you should have learned throughout the year, and blah, blah, blah, but that’s not the point. The point is, your art teacher is tired, her hands are scarred from a year’s worth of paper cuts and kiln burns, and if she just wants to stand in the front of the room tapping the SMARTBoard for an hour while you play Art Jeopardy, then so be it, because she has checked out.

5. She’s giving art supplies away. You know how your art teacher was on your case all year long about not taking supplies from the art room?  Remember how she lectured you about why you couldn’t take the stitchery needles from the art room, instructing you on how you could make your own ghetto versions at home?+ Sharpie makers? Forget about it. Remember how she guarded her pencils like she was Gollum guarding her Precious? Now, all of a sudden, it’s the end of the year and she’s giving those things away. Clearly your art teacher has checked out. Also, she knows she’s getting new supplies next year, so yeah, take those stubby pencils and half dried up Sharpies. Yarn? Sure, take it. A bag full of used crayons? Old glue sticks? Well used Play-Doh? Yes. Take it all.

6. She’s falls asleep during class. Hey, cut her some slack. She was up late last night catching old episodes of Supernatural and Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apt 23 on Netflix. And she slept through her alarm this morning, again. And it’s dark in here, because, movie, duh, and she’s been running around all day trying to pack up her room. So yeah, you’re teacher nodded off during class this afternoon. Big whoop, she’s checked out, and so have you, dear students, so let’s just move on, shall we?


* As if that’s any different than any other night of the year. I’d be curious to hear how many art teachers consider themselves to be night owls. I know I do.

** True story, I had a student mistake me for a sub the other day. Could have been the dress, could have been the new haircut, hard to say.

*** I’ve been showing The Hero of Color City all week. I’ve watched it 8 times, and I have yet to see how it ends. It’s available on YouTube and Netflix.

+ Yarn taped to toothpicks, unfolded paper clips, those little blue flossers you use for braces…

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Gripes

SMARTR Goals are STUPDR

My Instagram feed has been filled with fun, celebratory, #lastdayofschool posts today. doughnutThey’re only outnumbered by the insane number of colorful, candy-colored, National Doughnut Day posts. Meanwhile, I’m over here crunching numbers for my SMARTR goal and definitely not eating doughnuts, f* you very much. Some of us still have a few weeks of school left, and some of us have egg allergies. Whatever. I hope you choke on your doughnut on your way to the beach.

Ok, not really, but I am feeling a little bitter. Did you read that part about the SMARTR goal? I’m basically in art teacher hell right now, trying to calculate the achievement of my students using math. [shudder]

Fun fact: I suck at completing things on time, returning emails, completing paperwork, and pretty much anything that involves the phone, a calendar or planning ahead. Which is why I find myself pulling my hair out trying to complete my SMARTR goal data and paperwork a week after it was due. I expect a scolding email from my assistant principal any day now.

I hate SMARTR goals. When they were first introduced in our schools, I cried. I’m not kidding. I had no idea what I was being asked to do, and I had even less of an idea of how to make it work for art. Thinking about it made my head buzz. Fast forward a few years to today, and I have a better idea of how to translate it to art, but not necessarily a better idea of how to make it work. But I understand that I have to set a goal to meet by the end of the year, and I understand that this goal has to be measured in percentages, and I understand that if I don’t meet this goal, I will need to come up with some sort of plan to do something that I don’t understand because I didn’t bother paying attention to this part because I always expected to meet my goal. It’s art, for crying out loud. How can I not meet my goal?

I didn’t meet my goal this year.

What’s worse, I missed meeting my goal by 3%. 3%! That’s like, one student. One student! So now I’m over here trying to decide if I’m going to go back through my data and fudge my numbers or create an imaginary student who achieved an exceptional amount this year. Hey, if presidential candidates can win elections this way, I should be able to achieve my SMARTR goal this way. In case my conscious wins out, and I end up submitting my real data, I’ve already gotten a head start on my plan for achieving my goal next year.

My Plan For Achieving My 2015-2016 SMARTR Goal

  • Set the bar low. I mean, amazingly low.

Maybe I’m trying to measure too much. Maybe I’m expecting too much from my students. Next year, I’m setting the bar really low. Next year, I’ll measure student achievement by how many students are able to put their name on their work at the end of the year. 85% by the end of the year? That shouldn’t be too hard… um… on second thought… maybe not. I just remembered the insane frustration I felt last week when I discovered that not a single student in one of my second grade classes managed to put their name on their painting. Not a single student. Come to think of it, more students are capable of putting their name on their work at the beginning of the year than the end. I wonder what happens when your SMARTR goal percentages decrease throughout the year?

  • Insist that students show up for class on snow days.

I’ll also expect them to skip all assemblies, concerts, field days, field trips, and yes, even SOLs so they can come to art class. You want to know why I didn’t meet my SMARTR goal this year, Principal? Maybe because the class that I chose for my SMARTR goal missed 20% of their art classes this year. 20%! Now there’s a percentage for you.

  • Assign art homework.

Classroom teachers have SMARTR goals. Classroom teachers get to assign homework to ensure that student achievement is occurring. 2015-2016 will be the year of art homework! No, I don’t care about your dance class, Chinese lesson or the math homework you have. You need to analyze these five pieces of artwork and label the illusion of depth techniques used in each one. How else can I be sure you’re actually learning and achieving anything in my art class, huh?

  • Ask my principal to write an achievable SMARTR goal for me.

Watch as panic and confusion overtakes him.

Seriously though, one of the most frustrating things about being an art teacher, or a “specialist,” if you will, is the discrepancy between being told we’re all equals, and the reality of not being treated as an equal. We’re expected to meet all of the same requirements as classroom teachers, attend all the same workshops and meetings, meet all the same standards for student achievement, and yet, we aren’t given the same time or resources as classroom teachers.

It was a requirement in my school this year that all teachers’ SMARTR goals be math related. Um, except for you specialists, because, um, you’re different. All teachers are expected to attend staff meetings and CLT meetings, even you specialists, because all teachers are equal. All teachers are required to learn the information being presented during this workshop, even you specialists, because, again, we’re all equal, therefore we’ll have subs available to cover classrooms during the workshops so all teachers can attend one of the sessions, except for you specialists, the subs aren’t available for you, so you’ll have to get the information on your own time.

So in conclusion, equal means different, but also the same, and if you don’t have your SMARTR goal in by the close of business on the Friday following a span of two months in which you only saw your SMARTR goal class twice and have yet to have time to deliver the post-assessment within the given time frame, that’s going to be a problem.

Now excuse me while I go and finish inputting the data for the new student who just joined the fourth grade class into the spreadsheet. Do you think John Smith is too obvious a name?

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A Day In the Life

Lessons I Learned From Art on a Cart

During SOL testing, I spent three weeks as “art on a cart.” I was aware going into it to it that it would be challenging, but also temporary, and I knew that I could make it work*.  During my brief time on a cart, I learned some useful lessons.

Keep the mediums to a minimum. I knew that the only way I could survive having limited access to my room and my supplies, meaning no restocking the cart during the day, was to limit the different mediums I used. Thankfully, I planned ahead and timed stitching and weaving to occur during SOL testing. My first three classes worked on stitching and weaving, and my lasartcartt two classes of the day worked on various different paper strip projects. With careful planning and a well organized cart, I was able to have all of the supplies I needed for the entire day on one cart. This definitely wouldn’t have been possible had I been using multiple mediums throughout the day.

Do not assume students will have basic supplies in their classrooms. I made a point of checking with classroom teachers to see what kind of basic supplies students had in their desks (pencils, crayons, scissors). Thankfully it worked out that students already had these supplies, so I didn’t have to worry about hauling them to the classroom myself, but I’m sure it’s not always the case in every classroom, especially at this time of year. Unfortunately, I neglected to think of myself, and was left scrambling for basic supplies while demonstrating the project to students. Evidently, not all teachers keep a small bin of Sharpies, pencils, a pair of scissors, a ruler, crayons and a glue stick on hand for demonstrations. Who knew?

My house, my rules. I have done a lot of subbing in my time. When a sub is present, many students have the knee-jerk reaction of who are you to tell me what to do? Feathers can get ruffled, chaos can ensue. It’s expected when you’re a sub. You’re on their turf, there’s going to be a bit of a power struggle. I did not expect this to happen while on a cart, but it did. I naively thought I could seamlessly carry my art room rules into the students’ classroom. I was wrong. Like art teachers, classroom teachers work hard to build routines. They have their own rules (or lack thereof). Students learn, in this room, we do things this way. In one particular classroom, I found that the classroom teachers’ rules were a little more loosey goosey than mine. All of a sudden I have students getting up to get drinks or use the bathroom without permission, “but, Mrs. Carter** let’s us…” I found it difficult to establish authority in another teacher’s room, although I already had it in my classroom. It was especially difficult if the teacher remained in the room during art. It was an unexpected challenge.

A change of scenery can do you good. The above scenario wasn’t the norm for my experience on a cart. I was fortunate to have access to the SACC room during testing. The unfamiliar location worked to my advantage. You know how at the start of the school year, the students are a little timid, unsure, and on their best behavior for the first few weeks? The same happened while we were in the SACC room. It was fabulous. The change of scenery was exactly what we needed to reset some of the bad behaviors/habits that had developed (theirs and mine) throughout the year in my art room.

If you pile it high enough, it will fall. A stack of 12 x 18″ paper on top of a bin of Play-doh on top of three bins of paper strips and scissors on top of 30 paper weavings on top of two boxes of stitcherys on top of a dish rack of cardboard loom weavings*** on top of a rolling art cart equals disaster. Lesson learned.

Art on a cart = sympathy. I’ve never received more sympathetic looks from other teachers than when I was wheeling my towering art cart through the halls. Okay, maybe when I was seven months pregnant in the sweltering 90 degree temperatures of June, waddling all the way across the school with a cart of clay animals to put in the kiln, but still, being temporarily demoted to art on a cart will garner looks of sympathy from others.

Kids are flexible. I was afraid that I would be disadvantaged by my lack of supplies while on a cart. Especially when I thought of those two dreaded words every art teacher hates to hear, “I’m finished.” In my art room, students have a variety of supplies and activities available to them when they finish early. In my art room, they were used to having multiple options for adding color to their work, crayons, markers, colored pencils, oil pastels… While on a cart, early finishers had one choice, free draw with crayons. That’s it. I was fully prepared for a mutiny, but the uprising never happened. Turns out, when you tell students that this is what you can work on, and they see that there are no other options available, they’re totally okay with that. Really makes me wish I didn’t have open shelving in my art room as my only storage option.

Art on a cart isn’t the end of the world. I survived art on a cart for three weeks. Would I want to do it for an entire year? Probably not, but it wouldn’t be the worst teaching scenario I’ve been in over the years (that honor goes to the two years I was in a windowless, ventless, octagonal room with less usable square footage than the living room in my townhouse). I could certainly make art on a cart work. Don’t tell my principal I said that.


* I use this phrase multiple times during the school day. My students don’t really get it. Proof that I watch too much Project Runway?

** Name has been changed.

*** Just before my art on a cart experience, I discovered a few dish racks in our supply closet. I was pleased to discover that the cardboard looms I use slide (almost) perfectly into the drying racks. It makes storing the weavings much easier and neater. I place a small label on the lefthand corner of the looms where the students write their names. Then we “file” them on the racks, and they can easily pick their work out. You can see the racks in the picture above.

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Gripes

5 Annoying Things Parents Say and Do At Art Shows

We had our pyramid art show last week. One of two I’m participating in this year. Maybe. If I get my act together for the second one. For those of you who are unfamiliar with “pyramids,” as I was up until about 5 years ago, here’s how it works. I work for a county wide school system. Within the county, we have regions. Within the regions, we have pyramids. Each pyramid consists of a high school, a couple of middle schools, and a handful of elementary schools. In our county, we have annual pyramid art shows (not individual school art shows as I was familiar with in the past). The shows are usually held at the pyramid’s high school. Get it?

But none of that is really relevant to this post, except that it will help you to understand the context of the content below. Regardless of the details of the art show, all art shows have one thing in common. Parents.

5 Annoying Things Parents Say and Do At Art Shows

 

1. “My daughter has had a piece of work in this show for the past three years. I don’t know why you didn’t choose her this year.”

Yes, but, your son has work on display, which is why you’re here, right? So…

2. “Do you work here?”

Hmmm… I’m sorry, what? As in, do I work here at this school, or do I work here at the show, which doesn’t really make sense, because none of us are really working right now, I mean, we’re not actually getting paid for this… Are you wondering if I’m a teacher, or a volunteer, or maybe you think I’m a high school student (yes, even at my advanced age, it still happens)? Did you not see my special art teacher t-shirt, or my school employee badge? What exactly is it that you want to know? Ohhhh! You need help. Well, sure, I’d be happy to help you. First off, “Do you work here?” is not a very polite way to approach someone. Why don’t you try this thing called common courtesy and start with an, “Excuse me,” because, believe it or not, I was actually engaged in a conversation with my colleague here. Next, try a “Can you help me?” That way, I know whether you’re looking for directions to the bathroom or you’re going to complain about the ridiculous way the show is set up before I admit to “working” here. Or not, depending on where you’re headed with this. What? You didn’t find that helpful? Oh, fine, the bathroom is around the corner on your left.

3. “But how come she has a 3 in art?”

Thank you for coming out tonight. You must be so proud to see your daughter’s work in the show. She worked really hard on this particular piece, and I wanted to acknowledge her effort here tonight. If you have any questions about her grade, you can email me or set up an appointment to meet with me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this man needs help finding the cafeteria.

4. “I’m not surprised you picked my child’s work for the show. You should see the stuff he makes at home. Everyone in our family thinks his spin art is great”

I’m sure they do.

5. “I can just move this over here, right?”

Of course you can! I’m so sorry we placed that other artwork so close to your child’s artwork. Please feel free to move it out of the way so you can get the perfect picture. I would hate to have some other child’s work clutter up your photo. Would you like me to adjust the lighting for you too?

What annoying things do parents say or do at your art shows?
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